Missing You
by deamrose10
Summary: more often than not, jealousy can lead to agonizing repercussions (umi/maki)


Disclaimer: Love Live not mine ^_^

* * *

"So you're fed up with me? Is that it?!"

"No! What are you saying?! Stop putting words into my mouth which has no bearing! This has to stop, Maki! Why can't you just trust me?!"

"I do trust you! It's them I don't trust! Gosh, you're so dense, it's stupid! THIS is stupid! I don't even know why I stay with you!" Maki suddenly stopped, eyes widening.

"No, Umi, I-"

"Stop, please. I think you've said enough," Umi said, eyes downcast.

"Umi-"

"I said stop! This is stupid, right? If you wanted out just say so! You're not the only one who's getting tired!" Umi yelled as she tried to suppress her tears, hands balled into fists. Maki just stood there, dumbstruck.

"I'll stay over at Honoka and Kotori's tonight. Oyasumi." Before Maki could react, Umi grabbed her purse and hurriedly left the apartment the two shared. The slam of the door brought Maki back to her senses, and she slowly trudged her way to her and Umi's bedroom. The two cried themselves to sleep that night.

* * *

"This has been going on for a few months now. What do you plan on doing about it?" Kotori asked as she sat in front of Umi and Honoka at the small cafe near Kotori's atelier where they frequent, tea cup in hand.

"Sigh. I don't know anymore. We haven't really spoken to each other since the fight five days ago." Honoka and Kotori just looked at their friend, worried.

It's no secret that Umi's a bit insecure when it came to her relationship with Maki. Sure the two love each other indefinitely, but for Umi, she feels that the beautiful redhead is much too good for her, despite being together for several years already. They don't usually argue and fights between them are usually because their personalities clash sometimes, but they made it a point to make up quickly. Although ever since Maki entered into her last year of internship in medical school, everything seems to set her off, especially since she seemed to believe that almost all of Umi's new students at the dance school, which the girl took over just 6 months ago because her parents decided to go on a long vacation, only enrolled because of the dashing bluenette, even if Umi vehemently thought it ridiculous. Maki tends to be overly jealous when it came to who Umi associates herself with, excluding close friends, since the girl had a knack for attracting unwanted attention. Hence, the continuous arguments the past few months. But their last fight was the biggest they had, with Umi having received three large bouquets of assorted flowers delivered straight to their apartment earlier that day, and unfortunately, Maki was at home that time and saw them, only to have them sent back, scaring the boy who delivered them in the process. She kept the note attached to the flowers, though, and assaulted Umi the moment the unsuspecting girl got home.

"In hindsight, I know all this is petty and foolish. Her accusations, for me, are ill-founded, and even if they're true, she knows very well that I will never intentionally leave her for anybody. And what she said hurts. I know that I'll never be worthy of her entirely, but hearing her say out loud that she doesn't know why she's still in this relationship, that my fear of not being enough for her is true, is killing me!" Umi buried her face in her hands, crying. Honoka embraced her as Kotori gently rubbed her shoulders. It was a good thing they were the only patrons inside the shop, but Umi doesn't seem to notice anything else at this point.

"Umi-chan," Honoka and Kotori whispered, not knowing what else to say or do, as they held their weeping friend. It hurts to see their childhood friend so vulnerable, especially with a situation that can be honestly avoided, if the two involved would just sit down and talk about it. But even they knew that Maki has been very difficult to deal with lately, and now, even Umi's close to breaking apart, if not already.

* * *

"Maki-chan!" Maki looked up from her musings, and she gave a small smile to her two friends who's making their way towards her.

"Maki-chan, you look exhausted. I know you're studying hard and that this is your busiest year, but please take care of yourself more. I'm sure Umi-chan will worry if you neglect yourself," Hanayo said as she sat beside the redhead, giving her a warm smile. But instead of being thankful, Maki looked dejected at the mention of her girlfriend's name. Rin and Hanayo looked at each other, eyes concerned at their friend's reaction.

"You two haven't made up – nya?" Maki shook her head, eyes looking forlorn.

The redhead knew, deep down, that she's being unreasonable and immature about everything, moreso now that her internship consists of nightly duties and numerous overtimes that she rarely got to spend time with Umi anymore. When she does have days off, which is few and far in between, she prefers to visit Umi at the dojo and wait for her to finish giving lessons. During those times, she noticed the dreamy looks of the students while watching Umi dance, and how aggressively they're interacting with her girlfriend after classes. At first she thought they were just over enthusiastic, but the subtle touches here and there and the clinginess made her snap. Of course, her beloved bluenette was too dense and oblivious to the fact that she attracts admirers like moths to a flame, and it irritates the hell out of her. Maki knows that Umi is insecure about their relationship to begin with, which she finds extremely stupid, and she made it a mission to reassure the girl as often as possible, but there are also times that she thinks Umi might get tired of her difficult personality and leave. Of course, Umi isn't that type of person, but not being able to see her makes the redhead antsy and her imagination runs wild.

Maki remembered the words she said to Umi that night, and she winced at the heartbroken expression on her girlfriend's face as her insecurities seeped out to the surface before she rushed out of the apartment. Seeing Umi run away from her because of her insensitivity was agonizing, and that she never wanted to experience that again, let alone see her in pain.

"Maki-chan?" Maki shook her head again and focused on her friends. They knew, of course, about what's happening between the pair. Even Eri, Nozomi, and Nico had voiced their concerns about it. No one expected it to drag on like this, though.

"Have you talked to her? This is Umi-chan we're talking about. She'll always listen to you, just be honest," Hanayo said as she held Maki's hand.

"We never really had the chance to see each other the past few days since our schedules never coincide. But I won't be surprised if she's avoiding me deliberately. I want to see her and talk to her, I really do. But i'm scared that I might say things I might regret and end up hurting her again." Maki suddenly grasped Hanayo's hand forcefully, eyes wide.

"What if she leaves me after this? What if she says that she can't stand me anymore and break up with me? I don't think I'll be able to handle it!" She exclaimed and she buried her head in her arms, face planted on the table. No one would ever believe that Maki was once very reserved and dignified with the way she's acting now, but apparently, falling in love tends to crush one's pride and turns the brain into disarray.

"As long as you're honest with her, I'm sure everything will work out fine – nya! But you also need to listen to her and understand her position, too, because we know this situation is not easy on her as well. And you need to control your temper – nya. Both of you love each other, everyone knows that, and you two know that. We don't want to see the two of you sad," Rin said as she gently caressed Maki's head.

"Rin-chan's right, Maki-chan. The two of you will just hurt more if you prolong this. Since you don't have duty tonight, why not try and sort things out when you get home? I'm sure Umi-chan misses you, too." Maki lifted her head and wiped at her teary eyes.

" Arigatou, Hanayo, Rin. Hai, I understand. Whatever it takes, this ends tonight."

* * *

Umi finished her last class for the day and got ready to leave. Her parents deciding to go on a year round trip to see the world was not sudden, and having Umi manage the dojo while they are away is also letting her slowly get a feel of what she's going to be succeeding once her parents decide to retire in the future.

After studying and graduating with honors with degrees in Business Management, Economics, and Finance, she interned for a couple of years as a consultant-in-training for different companies, big and small, to ease herself in the world of adulthood and in preparation for when she takes over the family business. She then decided to partner up with Kotori, who, then, just got back from her internship abroad two years ago, to help the girl open her design studio where Umi works behind the scenes. Aside from that, she took short courses in Linguisitics and freelances as a writer in newspapers and magazines, sometimes being asked to compose lyrics for newbie idols. In such a short period of time, Umi's pretty proud of what she accomplished so far, especially since all through it, Maki was there to support her.

Thinking about her girlfriend made Umi pause and a sad sigh escaped her lips. Fighting with Maki has never been a pleasant experience no matter how small the problem is, and prolonging this silent treatment is breaking her heart, especially because this is the longest time the two has not spoken to each other. Umi wanted to see her and have the redhead embrace her like before, but due to Maki's inability to keep her temper in check these past months, an emotional and submissive Umi might be the last thing their relationship needs. She knows that she needs to be firm on the younger girl, or else this will be a never ending cycle of jealousy and resentments.

As Umi made her way back to the apartment, she decided to drop by the bakery to buy Maki's favorite bread for tomorrow's breakfast. As she was paying for her purchases, someone accidentally bumped into her from behind.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." Umi recognized the voice, and her suspicion was correct when she looked up and saw Toudou Erena standing next to her.

"Erena-san! It's nice to see you. How have you been?"

"Ah, Umi-san! It's been so long since we last saw each other. I'm doing good, thank you. How about you? How's Maki-san?" Umi's smile faltered a bit but, thankfully, it went unnoticed by the other girl.

"We're also doing good. Maki's in her last year of medical school, and I'm managing my family's dojo while my parents are away. How's Tsubasa-san and Anju-san?" I asked as we started to walk down the street together.

"They're doing well, although individual activities have made us unable to see each other as often as we'd like. Our comeback performance won't be until early next year, so Tsubasa's preoccupied with her musical and Anju with her radio show. Right now, I'm hosting a singing competition on TV."

"Wow! You, three, sure are working hard. It's nice to hear you're all doing well. I assume it's your day off, want to accompany me for a cup of tea for a while? It's been ages!" Erena eagerly agreed. Unbeknownst to them, a furious set of violet eyes watched the two as they entered a nearby cafe.

* * *

Maki was livid as she slammed the door to her bedroom. _'How dare she?! Just because Umi and I are having problems and haven't talked for a few days doesn't mean she can come barging in between us!'_

Earlier today, Maki decided to surprise Umi and fetch her from the dojo so they can walk home together, but she arrived 10 minutes too late, and the caretaker said she already went home after her classes ended early. Hoping to still catch her, Maki hurried back home but suddenly stopped short as she saw Umi and Erena enter a cafe together. Maki had nothing against the older girl personally, and she respects her as an artist, but seeing her getting chummy with her beloved Umi made her see red, and it's a known fact that the two became really close since they collaborated on the lyrics for a song back in high school.

"Arrgh!" Maki fisted her hair in her hands out of frustation and began pacing the floor like an agitated panther. She needed to calm down, but the added stress of being deprived of Umi's companionship on top of the pressure of her internship is putting her nerves on edge and are testing her ability to think coherently.

"Tadaima." Hearing Umi enter their apartment brought her back to reality, and, like a panther set free, she sprang.

Umi felt the cold atmosphere as soon as she came in and shivered. She could feel that something was amiss, and that hopefully it isn't anything to do with Maki. But as she stepped into the living room after she placed the bread in the kitchen, she saw a very upset redhead standing there, glaring at her, making her feel like she's done something terrible.

"Maki? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Umi asked as she slowly and carefully walked towards her girlfriend. Usually if something's bothering the other, the bluenette wouldn't hesitate in comforting her, but given their history as of late, approaching Maki should be done with caution. As she reached out to touch Maki's cheek, said girl suddenly grabbed hold of Umi's outstretched hand and roughly pulled her flush against the younger girl's body, aggressively claiming her lips in a feral kiss. Umi was so shocked at how out of character this is for Maki, that she only came back to her senses when she felt pain, so she struggled to break Maki's hold on her.

"M-maki! What are you doing? It hurts!" But Maki didn't let up, and she started planting vicious kisses and love bites on Umi's pristine neck, her hold on the poor girl getting more and more forceful as Umi fought to free herself.

"Stop it! You're hurting me! Maki, STOP!" Umi finally found the strength to push Maki away from her, both girls panting hard as Umi unconsciously backed away from the unstable girl in front of her, which Maki noticed, intensifying her frustration.

"What? Now that you've found someone else, you don't like me touching you? Is that it?! You're mine, Umi, and I won't let anyone else have you!" Umi backed away again, confusion and fear evident on her face, as Maki slowly advanced forward.

"You're supposed to pay attention only to me! I'm more than enough for you! You don't need to go running around like some floozy waiting for someone else to notice you!" Maki, at that point, didn't care that she's hurling accusations left and right. Umi just stood there, dumbfounded, paralyzed at all the hurtful things Maki's saying, confused as to what's going on, and finally realized that she's had enough.

"Shut up! Just, SHUT UP!" Umi shouted, tears rolling down her cheeks. And, as if suddenly drenched by cold water, Maki paused, hands covering her mouth as the sudden realization of what she's done began to sink in. _'No, what have I done?! Umi! This isn't supposed to happen!_ '

"How dare you?! Is that what you think of me, that I'm some kind of promiscuous woman? I know that I'll never be worthy of you completely, but I never knew you thought of me that way." Maki wanted to go to her, to hug her and apologize for her stupidity, but what Umi said next made her blood freeze.

"This has to stop, Maki, and the only way I know how is for me to distance myself from you, from all this. I love you, so damn much, but I'm getting tired. I don't know how to handle you anymore. Let's end this now, or else we'll just continue hurting each other." Umi's tears kept flowing down her face as she stared at Maki, the redhead's eyes widening as the implication of Umi's words started to register.

Before Umi can change her mind, she ran past Maki into their bedroom and started gathering whatever she can, intent on leaving as soon as possible.

"Umi, no, I'm so sorry! Don't leave! Stop this, please!" Maki begged as soon as she realized Umi was dead serious. She tried to turn Umi around, to make her drop the suitcase that's starting to fill up, but the bluenette wouldn't budge, and Maki was starting to panic.

"Umi, onegai! Let's talk about this! You can't leave me!" Maki followed Umi as the older girl went about the room gathering her things, begging and pleading continuously for Umi to listen to her, and Umi was trying her best to harden her resolve and not give in. They need this, they need to be away from each other to think about things, to think about whether or not their relationship is worth salvaging. For something so petty, nobody ever thought their problems would lead them to breaking up.

Maki hugged Umi tightly from behind as the bluenette was about to open the front door, the redhead's tears now flowing like waterfalls down her face. She didn't care if she looked pathetic, anything is better than losing the one person who's always been there for her, who's always been her pillar of support, so she clung onto Umi as tightly as she could as she wept on the other's shoulder.

"Onegai, onegai, Umi. Don't let it end like this. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I love you so much. Don't leave me. I won't be able to take it. Onegai." Maki continued to plead against Umi's hair, and was surprised to feel Umi put down her suitcase and turn around to look at her. The younger girl felt hope bubble up inside her, thinking that Umi changed her mind and won't leave her after all.

Umi stared with a broken heart at the distraught girl in front of her, lifting her hands to caress Maki's face as she dried her tears, as if trying to memorize every detail and store it to memory. She then leaned in, capturing Maki's lips into a deep, loving kiss, the redhead eagerly responding, relaxing into Umi's gentle touch. Umi then ended the kiss with a quiet sob and let go of Maki who still looked slightly dazed.

"Sayonara, Maki." Before the younger girl could comprehend what happened, Umi grabbed her suitcase and quickly walked out the door.

* * *

"Umi, over here!" Said girl walked towards the table occupied by her friends Eri, Nozomi, Nico, and Hanayo in the posh bar they frequent when they need to relieve some stress.

"Sorry I'm late. My last class was a bit over enthusiastic so we ended one hour more than scheduled," the bluenette said in lieu of greeting and sat down.

"It's okay, Umi-chan. We haven't been waiting long. Here," Hanayo said as she handed the tired girl her drink.

"Arigatou, Hanayo. So, how have you all been? It's been pretty busy at the dojo lately and because Kotori's away for a fashion event abroad, I need to manage her studio on my own. I'm sorry if I kept turning down your invitations the past few months," Umi apologized as she got comfortable on the couch.

"We understand, Umi. Glad you made it tonight, though. Next round's on me," Eri winked as she called for a waiter.

The girls enjoyed the night drinking, sharing stories on what's happening amongst there circle of friends, avoiding certain topics out of respect for those involved, and just enjoying each other's company. But as the night wore on, Umi noticed that Nico was not as boisterous as she usually was.

"Nico, you're unusually quiet tonight. Is there something wrong?" Umi asked as she looked at her friend, eyes concerned. She didn't notice the worried glances the others were giving Nico.

"Ah, Nicocchi is just tired. You know how she is, always working overtime at the diner. Ehehehe."

"That's right, Umi. Don't worry about it. Want anything else? We still have a couple of hours to spare," Eri added, trying to steer the conversation away from Nico, who is obviously getting irritated.

"I can order something for you, Umi-chan," Hanayo chimed in, about to stand up to call a waiter. At this point, Nico's face was already scrunching up out of frustration.

"Hanayo, it's okay, I'm good – " Umi jumped as Nico suddenly slammed her hands on the table, earning a few odd looks from the other patrons nearby.

"Mou! I can't take it anymore! We can't avoid it forever, you know!" Nico shouted as she stared at the others then turned her gaze to Umi.

"Nicocchi – "

"It's already been three months. How much time do you need? We thought that this is some sort of phase you, two, are just going through, but frankly, it's been putting everyone on edge." Nico's gaze didn't waver as Umi tried to avoid her eyes. Of course she knew where this is headed. She's been trying to avoid talking about it, and getting busy with work's the perfect excuse to keep her mind preoccupied. Regardless of everything, she still has her life to run. It's hard enough that everything seems to remind her of Maki, and she's grateful that her friends gave her the space she needed to sort out her feelings, but she also knows that, eventually, they need to talk about it, and for Nico, that time's now.

"..."

"Nico, we can talk about this some other time. Let's not ruin toni – "

"If not now, then when? Who knows when we'll get to see Umi again after this, and Maki's gone so far down the deep end I'm surpised she's still breathing!"

"Nico-chan!" "Nicocchi!" "Nico!"

"What? It's true, isn't it? Don't tell me you never noticed how skinny she's gotten, or how dark the circles are under her eyes from lack of sleep, or how her apartment looks like a pigsty." Nico, again, returned her full attention to Umi, who, by now, is visibly shaking after hearing Maki's name out loud. Umi knew. Of course she knew. Even if she was the one who left, she couldn't sleep well at night without knowing how the redhead's doing, if she's taking care of herself, if she's thinking about her just as much.

The others took it upon themselves to look after Maki as much as they could; visiting her at the hospital or at medical school, bringing her homemade food (often times made by Umi herself), hanging out at the apartment to keep her company, and even offering their shoulders to cry on. But despite their efforts, Maki won't talk to anyone of them, as in literally, and only nods or shakes her head, the only sound ever heard from her is when she cries. It's heartbreaking for them to see the once cool and confident Maki succumb to depression that she placed herself in. All because of her stupid jealousy and narrow mindedness. When Umi and Maki's relationship started, they didn't expect for the redhead to become too dependent on Umi, even though the bluenette never minded it. Their relationship was a breath of fresh air for the others, that they survived years of being together despite many obstacles, and that they didn't even dream it'll just end up like this. They won't allow it. It's clear that the two still love each other, and even if they didn't get back together (which they're still hoping they will), at least some sort of closure will suffice. After all, one's agony is everybody's pain, so they say.

"What do you want me to say, Nico? That I still love her? Of course I do! I never stopped! It hurts to know that I'm the cause of all this, that I let it get out of hand, that I couldn't even handle my own girlfriend when it's clear that all she wants is to be with me even though I can't really offer her anything else besides my love! That I'm stupid enough to let her go so easily, but at that time what else could I have done?" Umi's tears clouded her vision as she cried in front of her friends. Nico then embraced the bluenette gently as if she'll shatter if she wasn't careful enough.

"It's not your fault, you stupid girl. We're not blaming you, so stop beating yourself up over it. You did what you thought was best, and we all know that Maki's under a lot of pressure, and that time apart might do you both some good. But don't you think it's time to stop running away already? Don't you think you both suffered enough? She's dying without you, Umi. And you're obviously not doing okay yourself." At that, Umi clutched onto Nico tighter and cried harder. Nico held her until there were no more tears left to shed.

"Umi, we just want you both to be happy again. Won't you consider talking to her? Or at least see her, even for a bit. She obviously misses you. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, but when she's asleep, she keeps on calling for you and saying sorry over and over again." Eri held the younger girl's hand, trying to give her as much comfort as she can.

"She's miserable without you, Umi-chan. Her studies are what keeps her motivated to get through the day, but we're not sure how long that'll last," Nozomi added.

"But you know, even if she tries to hide it, she perks up when she eats the food you made. We never said it was from you, she just knows," Hanayo smiled.

Umi was thankful to have amazing friends to support her, and that she's happy to know they'll never abandon Maki regardless of what happened, and she owes it to them and to herself to finally try and get her happiness back.

"Arigatou, all of you. For not taking sides, for taking good care of Maki when I can't, for supporting us. I can't really thank you enough, but I'll try my best to at least make things a little easier on everyone from now on."

"Then what are you still doing here? Maki has off until tomorrow. Why not visit her for a change?" Nico said as she gave Umi a wide grin, the others following suit. Umi smiled, her first real smile in months.

"Hai, I think I will."

* * *

"Maki-chan, onegai - nya! Just a little bit, and then I won't pester you about it again!" an exasperated Rin said, trying to get Maki to eat the porridge she made. The redhead just stared at it and turned her head away.

"Please don't be difficult, Maki-chan. You're going to get sick if you don't eat anything. You've been sulking all day, moreso than usual – nya!" Maki just stubbornly stared at the wall, making Rin sigh loudly.

"Do you want something else? I can go out and buy you another dish – nya." Maki just shook her head and dropped herself on the bed, turning away from Rin.

"Why are you so stubborn? Maki-chan! Mou! Fine - nya! I'll just leave it here for you but please eat it. We don't want anything to happen to you," Rin whispered as she gently patted Maki's head and headed out the bedroom. It's getting late and she still has work tomorrow. As Rin opened the door to leave, she was surprised to find Umi standing nervously outside the apartment.

"Umi-chan! What are you doing here – nya?" Rin couldn't help but smile widely at seeing the bluenette.

"Hi, Rin. Too bad you couldn't make it tonight. Has Maki eaten already?" The younger girl sighed and shook her head.

"Not yet. She's getting more and more difficult to feed, Umi-chan! The last time she ate well was 3 days ago when I brought her your food, after that she just nibbles on everything else. It's like she can sense that it wasn't you who made it – nya."

"It's okay, Rin. I'll try to get her to eat tonight. Thanks for taking care of her."

"It's no problem, Umi-chan! And thank you, too, for being here and giving her another chance," Rin grinned.

"I'm just here to talk to her, Rin, and see how she's doing." But the mischievous girl wasn't buying it.

"Hai, hai, Umi-chan. Whatever you say – nya! Oyasumi!" Rin said playfully as she quickly gave Umi a hug and disappeared down the hall.

Umi shook her head then took a deep breath before entering her, once, home. She sighed as she saw the state of chaos of the apartment, picking up things and placing them on top of the dining table to be organized at a later time, as she made her way to the bedroom. She listened for any sign of movement inside, steeled herself, and turned the knob. The room's pitch black, and Umi could barely make out the body sprawled on top of the bed. Her heart beat accelerated as she walked closer to the figure, her hands getting clammy from the nerves. It seems that Maki sensed her approach as the redhead turned to look at her, eyes widening, as she stared at a nervous looking bluenette standing just a few feet from her, bathed in the light from the open door. Before Umi could utter a single word, Maki lunged at the surprised girl, wrapping her arms around her neck, bawling her eyes out as she chanted Umi's name over and over, as if not believing that she's really there.

"Umi! Umi! Oh my God, Umi!" Maki's voice was raspy, probably from lack of use the whole day. Umi was too surprised to react in time, but eventually wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl's waist, noticing that the redhead has become too thin and too light to be considered healthy. She embraced her even tighter, stroking her hair gently, feeling guilty again because she made the love of her life suffer.

Maki let go and took Umi's face into her hands, caressing the soft skin, then leaned in, kissing her beloved with so much love and passion as if her life depended on it. The bluenette responded with as much passion as she can muster, remembering the feel of Maki's lips on hers, trying to bridge the gap they endured while being apart. By now she's crying, her tears mixing with that of the redhead's, both mourning the time they lost and wishing that they could've handled things differently to spare them the heartache. When the need for air arose, the two broke apart panting hard, Umi clutching onto Maki's shirt and burying her face on her lover's chest, choking out sobs as the guilt of everything caught up with her.

"I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! Maki, I'm so sorry!" Maki just held her tightly as Umi cried while apologizing for something that's not really her fault, kissing the top of her blue head, a small smile in place. They can talk later. Right now, having her precious Umi in her arms where she belongs, her world is finally complete again.

* * *

A/N: I'm not certain if I should stop here or continue because this was intended to be a one shot only, but it still feels incomplete somehow.. or maybe I'll just write multiple one shots, same universe.. oh well.. reviews are welcome! Thanks for reading! ^_^


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